Well hello there, seemingly forgotten blog readers! I promise I have not truly forgotten you - it's just been the craziest few months! Yeah, I know, that's what they all say. But it's currently thunderstorming fantasically (it's the best) and I do have some highlights from the last... while... so hang on, it may be a slightly bumpy read!
First, I have a guest blog post on bibrarian.wordpress.com! You should check it out if you're into LGBT literature. So, go! Unless, of course, you'd like to read the rest of my non-guest blog post here. Then, indeed, feel free to continue.
At the moment, I am in the midst of the Midwest Regional American Music Therapy Association Conference here in Iowa City! Yeah! I know, the title's quite a mouthful and it has nothing to do with Trans issues... but it's my blog and I do reserve the right to cry if I want to. (It was in the fine print.)
Anyway, at said conference, I'm learning an awful lot about all things Music Therapy. It's all pretty overwhelming, actually. I have found my first fellow queer Music Therapist, which gives me much hope. I've been worrying about how my job could be affected by being queer, as I'm often perceived. I'm making a lot of connections, however, which they say is good for professional life.
Speaking of professionalism, this is where the Trans issues come in. Because I've already started my journey as a Music Therapy professional and I've started making those golden connections, I'm becoming ever more paranoid about any possible transition that may be in my future. I love all of my future colleagues (since I'm not yet board-certified, after all) but I have no idea how many would react to having a transperson in their midst. One, perhaps little-known, fact about the field of Music Therapy: it's 95% women. Seriously. Male Music Therapists seem to be somewhat of a novelty, and the ladies tend to fawn over them in the most obnoxious manner. It's a strange phenomenon to behold, especially since one would assume they have had contact with the male species before (and probably often). At any rate, I've managed to not need to enter a restroom more than once all conference long, but have so far been unable to pass. It really is difficult with a name tag on your chest and your name very obviously says "FEMALE." But I have been binding all weekend, which has made me feel more comfortable anyway. It's the small things, right?
The real issue I've been having is considering making the transition in the middle of my professional life. I've been letting the question of professionalism hold me back from thinking about top surgery or hormones, but lately my dysphoria has been pretty bad.
So I've been second-guessing all the previous decisions I've made about any possible transition. But how does that fit into my professional life? I guess the problem is that I don't know any professional transfolk OR any trans Music Therapists. Granted, most in my profession of choice are pretty open-minded - they are therapists, after all. But I still have reservations. It's a tough decision.
At any rate, that's basically all the exciting/frustrating/confusing stuff that I've been keeping from you. Hopefully I didn't make anyone uncomfortable or depressed. Happy April Showers!
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