Transgender Day of Remembrance

I realize I haven't posted in what seems like eons - yes, I realize it's only been a month.  But I'm back now, hopefully with more consistent updates, as schoolwork and life allow. 

So I was thinking, November seems to be the month for transfolk.  At the University of Iowa, we just celebrated TransWeek 2011, consisting of a Q&A panel, gender-identity as portrayed through art, conversations with health care providers to start making a better healthcare experience for transfolk and a screening of "She's a Boy I Knew."  I wish I could say I participated in all the events, but unfortunately I was only free to attend a couple.  The ones I did attend, however, gave me mixed feelings.  It was amazing to hang out with people who I knew would not judge me because of the way I choose to express my gender.  I even learned some stuff - surprise! 

For instance, I was unaware of the severe tension between the LGB and the T communities.  I mean, I figured there was at least a little because transfolk tend to get left out of a lot of general LGB[T] stuff.  But the way some of the panelists talked during the Q&A session chilled me.  They were all either male-identified or completely genderqueer, and they way they talked about lesbians, especially, really made my head spin.   I guess there's this thing where lesbians fetishize transmen, of which I was completely unaware.  I understand where they're coming from, of course.  But the way they generalized about ALL lesbians (the way every community does about every other community, I'm coming to realize) just hurt.  I am a lesbian.  I am also trans.  So... now I feel like I have to choose between the two because I can't possibly be both.  I feel like, as marginalized groups in society, creating this division between ourselves will only hurt us.  You know, the old "united we stand, divided we fall" thing.

All in all I think it was an excellent event, and created some good awareness.  I have my TransWeek button on my backpack to display to everyone I pass on the street, even since it ended.  I'm hoping for some good conversations... I guess we'll see!

Anyway, I would say "Happy Day of Remembrance" to you all, but it really is a somber topic that deserves not celebration, but reflection.  So many transpeople have had their lives taken just for trying to live their lives in truth.  And to what end?  Just the loss of a truly unique individual before their time.  So all I ask, I guess, is that you take a moment today to think of the transperson you love most or take the time to try to walk in the shoes of a transperson before you start judging them.  Who knows, those couple seconds it takes to decide not to say that cruel thing you were thinking could save a life.