Alright, so I joined a lesbian book group with my fiancee this month. We read three books during fall semester and then get together to discuss and such. Fortunately for you all, I will also likely feel the need to discuss the books here! So now you can also be a part of the lesbian book group by extension. Are you excited yet? Ok, I know what you're thinking. I'm not a lesbian. That's the other great thing about this group - they're very accepting and I think that as long as I still have some femininity in me, I'd be welcome. Also, our first book is very fitting in that it's all about Trans issues.
The book we're currently reading is Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg. Even though I'm not quite done with the book, it's my feeling that everyone - GLBTQQIA etc. - should read this book. It opened my eyes. For the first time I realized that all these feelings I have are actually legitimate and I'm not the only one having them. Although, to be honest, part of me is now deathly afraid of being gang raped in a dark alley for being different... but I'm convinced the slight paranoia is worth it.
What I found extremely interesting was the notion of these butches being "stone" and the use of the word to describe an emotional state of being. They had to be so strong just to survive the cruelty of the world, and I was just awestruck as I read. It broke my heart that, no matter what she tried to do, Jess was never fully happy, or even comfortable with who she was. At least she isn't where I am in the book. I don't know that I could ever find that sort of strength in me or shut down my emotions so completely. I guess you never know what you'd do just to survive the world, but it's pretty horrendous to think about.
If you don't want to read the book for any other reason, you should read it for the poetry in the prose. The writing is, at times, so beautiful it moved me to tears. Not because it was sad, necessarily, but so beautifully melancholy. There is so much pain in this world and it hit so close to home. I saw myself in Jess so clearly that it scared me. It scared me even more when I saw my fiancee in Theresa. What I've learned so far from this book is that the world will try to break you if you are different. The catch is that you have the choice to carve out a little place for yourself, hard as it may be, or you can just let the world have its way with you and leave you broken and irreparable. I don't know about you all, but I certainly don't think that laying down without a fight is even worth it in the end.
At any rate, I'm going to finish the book hopefully within a few days and I will probably be bursting to write about it again then. My perceptions may change, the ending may break my heart, or it might make me want to change the world. We'll just have to see. Whatever happens, whoever you are, you should still read it for yourself, despite what I may write about it. Who knows? Maybe you'll find something different and just as exciting inside those pages.
Happy reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment