Coming In and Coming Out

You all deserve a good story of how this blog came to be, and why it even exists in the first place, so here goes.

So I've recently come out to a few close friends as transgendered.  I know many people are curious about that in and of itself, but I'll get to that later.  Anyway, since my coming out was so recent and everyone is so used to thinking of me as just a stereotypical lesbian, it's been difficult for me to validate my own feelings much less try to explain exactly what's going on to other people.  On top of that, I just started classes at a brand new University and I'm not entirely sure how to broach the very personal, yet extremely important, topic with my new friends (with whom I will only be spending approximately three semesters of class).

Unsurprisingly, I feel alone and trapped.  And there's not really anyone to go to except my amazing fiancee who's already heard all of this multiple times and is probably sick of hearing it.  As much as she tries, I know she struggles with it and can't completely understand it.  I completely understand her struggle, but I can't pretend it isn't difficult for me that she does.  It doesn't help that today I learned about research methodology and participated in an in-class fake study.  It's stupid enough to begin with (this is a freshman-level class, and I already have a B.A.) but the moment our professor tells us to mark our gender, something broke inside of me.  I spent the rest of the class period unable to focus and left class angry.  Why?  How could she have known she would offend anyone by the little innocuous M and F categories?  What is it to her that there could be someone who doesn't feel they fit in either one?  But I refuse to believe that this is just MY problem, that I just need to "get over it."  I can't and I won't.

In part, that's why I started this blog.  It's a small act of spreading awareness, of bringing people together in understanding - or at least trying to understand.  I'm not the only one transforming, I want the world to transform, too.  Yes, I'm an idealist, but we have to start somewhere and I'm sick of just waiting around for other people to change of their own accord. 

So, LGBTQQIA - any letter at all, you are welcome here.  It's not much, but maybe we can turn it into something worthwhile.